Thursday, August 28, 2008

Why didn't anyone warn me???

I have to say....yesterday was one of the most difficult days in my life. I know that may seem extreme, but it is definitely true. Alex left home at 5:00 AM with Zack driving him to the Baton Rouge airport to catch a plane to Salt Lake. It didn't really hit me then. I tried to sleep a little because we had stayed up really late, but I just couldn't get settled. So, I got the other kids off to school and came home prepared to sleep for a while. Couldn't do it. I cried and cried and cried. For a large part of the day. I just couldn't shake this overwhelmingly sad feeling. I know he is in the best place he could be and I truly want him to be there and have a great time, but, dang-it, I'm sad. I am sad that I am not there with him, I am sad that my family will not all be together, I am sad that I am at this point where my family will all start to splinter, I am sad that I can't see him until Christmas, I am sad that I can't hug him and laugh at his jokes, I am scared that I might have missed teaching him something he really needs to know. I am going to miss that boy. All said, though, I don't want him to come home. The ultimate double edge sword.
So, enough about me. He is there. He got all settled in yesterday all by himself. He has met his roommates and his sweetmates. He called me several times along the trip. I tried to take the Newton's advice......no news is good news. While he doesn't seem to be having a raucous good time, yet, he seems very satisfied. He went to the Creamery twice already. I was just mildly irritating.....calling and asking tons of questions. He was a good son, though, and humored me. He promised pics today.
I am so much better today. I haven't even called him, yet. I teared up a little writing this, but all better. One thing is....I got some sleep last night. Exhaustion does exacerbate sadness for me...yeah, not a good combination. I am determined to go to the gym today and to clean my house in preparation for this storm looming. Today is looking up. I hope to get alot done and keep myself busy.
Will post pics later!

9 comments:

gwen said...

uh, I'm sure you mean suitemates, not "sweetmates"....something just doesn't look right about that. Glad you're better today! Man you were a case yesterday.

Be A Saint said...

Lol, I guess I've never thought about it. That is so funny. I've never seen it written before, so I've always thought that was how it was spelled. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Susan said...

Well, you had a bad day...but at least you've pulled out of it nicely. It will get easier, but no, things are never quite the same once they start leaving.

Vicki's Vicissitudes said...

I enjoyed reading this one.....I do remember how sad I was....but I also know now that it does get better. You will enjoy the next phase of life...I PROMISE.

Lindsay and Mike said...

Hey! We should have Alex over for dinner sometime! Or, would he just think that was wierd to have dinner with people he hasn't seen since he was 12?

Be A Saint said...

Oh, no, Lindsay, that would be great. Melanie Newton and McKenzie Powell are also there. They would probably ALL like that. Email me and I will give you his phone number!

Lindsay and Mike said...

I would email you, but I don't have your email address. :) I also don't have your mailing address...which makes it EXTREMELY hard to mail you Christmas cards. :) Why don't you email me...here's my email lstorrs(@)kutv2(dot)com.

Jessica said...

Oh, I can't even imagine. Kindergarten has been enough for me!

--I enjoyed seeing all the pics from your trip. That looks awesome!! So much fun!

MaryRuth said...

I hope you are adjusting ok... I remember my mom sobbed when she drove me to my dorm at BYU... and it was only 20 min away!! I was the first and she knew that once I left they would all start to go... and here we are and the last of her eight is getting ready to go on a mission...

How is college boy doing????